People like people…

“People like people who are like themselves”

This is a pretty familiar saying and certainly one you can rely upon when trying to influence others.  However, there is another version that is equally true, but less familiar.

“People like people who are like they want to be”

The first version works on the “I’m gorgeous, fly me” principle.  We are influenced by the people we like and we like people who are like us, because, being like us, they must be “okay”.

The second version is a powerful influencer for a different reason.  It works on the “your doctor would tell you to” principle.  We are influenced by people who are like we want to be, because they are obviously a little ahead of us in whatever aspiration we have, and therefore have a measure of real credibility.  And, of course, they clearly have got to where we want to be, so must have made a choice that is “okay”.

Notice that, for some people, this will fail if the gap between them and the person trying to influence them is too great.  “You may be where I want to be, but you’re so far ahead of me that we clearly don’t have anything in common” they would think.  There may even be some jealousy.

The practical tip

imageEither match dress/status style of the person you want to influence,
or dress half a notch above them.


About Mike Clayton

Mike is an author and speaker, specialising in personal effectiveness, project management and the management of change. When we try to make change work for us, things don't always go as planned: Shift happens! Over the years, Mike has developed personal and professional strategies to anticipate and deal with shift. You can contact Mike at
This entry was posted in Appearance, Techniques and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s